The Attachment Love of Pheromones

Posted On Friday, February 12th, 2016 By Eric

When falling in love, men and women spend hours upon hours exchanging words, engaging in conversation, wooing tactics and playful courtship. But physical love is something different. Physical love and sexual desire is something that can be felt unpredictably and for a variety of different individuals. This feeling of lust could be felt for many individuals at the same time. No man would lose much sleep over just physical love. If a man or woman is merely sleeping with somebody and not in love with the m – we’re not so concerned about whether they sleep with somebody else. 
We’re not so “jealous” as we would be if we were in romantic love. Feelings of lust don’t produce those intense emotional feelings of possessiveness, obsession, jealousy, focused attention and longing that romantic love does.  (Interestingly, people who value the physical love also values taking drugs and risk taking behavior, because these are all instant gratification pathways) Think of men and women who love one   night stands or love to have many f*** buddies. Think of girls who party all night with no regards of the consequences day in day out. Unfortunately here are the downside of valuing physical love first and foremost. Men w ill come and go, friends will also come and go. And if you only ever value the physical love, you will eventually end up alone, by yourself with no one around you. Learn more at and 
The Attachment Love of Pheromones
 The attachment love makes us feel like we belong somewhere, that w e have a real companion by our side. It makes us feel like we won’t be alone in this world and makes us feel safe. Above I mentioned that attachment love is driven by oxytocin and serotonin. Interestingly, you may have read before that during and after sex, oxytocin levels increase in both men and women, creating a feeling of attachment. However, oxytocin levels increase far more for women than for men, and for a MAN – oxytocin levels increase far more during orgasm. Learn more at 
Yet, after sex and orgasm, a man’s oxytocin levels return to their normal levels (which is far lower than a woman’s), but oxytocin levels remain heightened in a woman consistently for a while after sex (this can be weeks or more!) Attachment love is something that women value greatly – and it’s something that is necessary for a relationship to last well in to the future. Yet, on a basic level, attachment love is far more important to women in general than it is to men. This could explain why women are so needy of commitment from a man, whereas men aren’t as concerned about it. Yet, of course, if you know my work, you know I don’t like to put everything down to a science. 
A lot of what a man values in a relationship will not just be based on his levels of testosterone and oxytocin ALONE – but wil l be based upon his own values, beliefs, and his blueprint (his own expectations and ideas) of how a relationship should be. Thus, although many men see attachment as incredibly important for a relationship and downplay the importance of romantic love or l ust – it is also your job as a woman to remember that a man’s biochemistry naturally dictates that if there is an abundance of attachment love, but there is no romantic love and attraction – then he’s more likely to be unfulfilled, he’s more likely to chea t, and overall, there’s more likely to be pain for both of you.

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